It's 2 a.m. ...
I was trying to figuring out why I couldn't fall asleep after watching the oh so cheesy movie "Music & Lyrics" with Drew Berrymore and Hugh Grant (sorry I have a soft spot for Hugh) and to be honest I enjoyed the movie... anyways... I try to go to sleep and no such luck.
I pick up my blackberry to check the time because surely the sun is going to rise soon, it feels like years have passed. Just let me sleep already... Then it hit me like a punch in the face. The date. April 18. It may not mean anything to you, but to me it's the day I lost my step-father, the man who took me to raise as his daughter when I was 2.
He never once called me his step-daughter which I always noticed and will never forget. He wasn't a perfect man and I was certainly not the perfect daughter. There are things I wish I could say... like call him Dad again and tell him I love him and that I am so sorry that I was such a selfish rude person incapable of showing him how much he really meant to me. Instead, he died just wanting me in his life and I was always too busy that is unless I needed something. I was barely 19 when he passed. A week before he passed I bailed an hour before meeting him to go see Aerosmith. He was so excited about taking me to the show. I bailed. I relive that phone call in my head at least a few times a year. It's haunting. How could I have done that?
Once I stopped spinning over his death I decided I would stop being such a bitchy person, let go of the chip on my shoulder and do something that would make him proud. I went to college, married an incredible man, traveled the world, and now I'm an expat living in London. I'd give anything to share my life with him today and see his face he'd be so proud and so excited for me.
Be nice to the ones you love. If you love someone show it. If they screw up forgive them. You just never know what tomorrow is going to bring.
I may be across the pond, but the people I truly know and love are always with me.
Hugs to my peeps,
WMMc
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